Notes from the Perimeter

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

4 Whimsical Speculations, & 1 Serious Question, About What Romney's Tax Returns are Hiding...

Despite continued pressure, and the specter of an issue that just won't go away, Mitt Romney still refuses to release most of his tax returns from the last decade, a decade in which he served as CEO of Bain Capital, parked money in off-shore accounts, and found a way to pay, as his 2011 return indicates, far less tax than your average school teacher. 

It's hard to imagine that his refusal to come clean is simply arrogance -- it's hard to imagine that he's not hiding something, something big, something for which he's willing to pay the price of keeping the questions about his finances alive and unanswered.  What could it be?  Here are four whimsical speculations and a deadly serious question.

1.  Marriage exemptions. 
Mitt's returns indicate that in addition to his eldest wife Ann, he supports several more sister-wives, thus upholding a venerable Mormon tradition.  Since Mitt has claimed that he pays only the minimum amount of tax owed, and not a penny more, he didn't hesitate to make full use of these deductions in order to reduce his rate to a desirable 14.5%.

2.  Marriage exemptions version 2. 
Mitt's returns indicate that in addition to his eldest wife Ann, he supports several more wives, only these are brother-wives, thus begging the question: are his diatribes against gay marriage a case of "he doth protest too much"?

3.  Business expenses.
While Mitt isn't anxious to reveal that among his many business ventures is the R-Money chain of for-profit abortion clinics, he is particularly proud of their slogan: "R-Money Can Fix UR-Problem."  

4.  Business expenses version 2.
It might seem counter-intuitive for Mitt to advocate overturning Roe v Wade in light of his abortion-clinic profits (see above), but as his tax returns show, Mitt is ever resourceful.  If he is elected president, and is successful in reversing abortion legality in the US, R-Money is poised to go offshore and open for business in China and Mexico, places with which his other outsourcing activities have made him quite familiar.  In addition, promoting abortion in Mexico will help with his Latino problem by reducing the number of immigrants and potential Hispanic voters.

Now to get serious….

5.  Was Romney a tax evader in 2009?
In a recent Huffington post, Anthony Badami raises a disturbing question: in 2009 did Mitt Romney take advantage of an IRS tax amnesty program for tax evaders?  Is that why he refuses to release his 2009 tax return?  If that's the case, then the GOP presidential candidate committed a federal felony, one for which he applied for, and received, amnesty.

 Now, in this silly season of half-truths, exaggerations and downright lies, that's a fact that certainly would shake up the race even more than Romney's bully-pulpit (well, just plain bully) debate performance.


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